Tag Archives: Women

Clara Harris – How dare you leave me?

In 2003 Clara Harris was convicted of the murder of her husband David Harris.  That she killed him was never disputed because it was caught on camera.  Clara, either in a fit of rage, or accidentally, ran her husband over in a hotel parking lot where he had met with his mistress, Gail Bridges.

Clara was born in Bogotá and worked hard to fulfil her dream of working in the United States.  A dentist, she met David Harris, an orthodontist and together they ran half a dozen successful dental offices.

Everybody in their workplace was aware of David’s affair with the office assistant, Gail, who had earlier, during her own divorce proceedings, been implicated in an affair with a woman called Julie Knight.

The jury took into account ‘sudden passion’ before sentencing Clara to twenty years in prison.

Clara Harris was a woman who worked hard at success, in life and in marriage.  The news of David’s affair came as a devastating blow to her and she became intensely insecure.  She went so far as to ask David to make a list of comparisons between her and Gail which she set out to correct immediately.  Such as losing weight, colouring her hair and making an appointment with a plastic surgeon.

On the night of the murder, David had told her that he was meeting with Gail at the hotel to put an end to the affair.  When he did not return home, Clara and Lindsey (David’s daughter) went to the hotel to look for him.  Now I can imagine what state she was in.  How her stomach turned in fear of what she would find.  And what she did find was David and Gail walking in the hotel lobby, hand in hand.  They had spent two hours together in a hotel room.

A scene followed in the hotel lobby with Clara apparently attacking Gail.  David then took Gail to the car park and Clara and Lindsey got into her Mercedes.  At some point, as she spotted David and Gail, Clara put her foot down and tried to run them over.  She says all of that time is a blur to her.  Gail was injured slightly but David was seriously hurt.  Onlookers say that Clara then ran over David again and again.  He died shortly after.

Now I don’t condone what she did, murder is not a solution to any problem.  But I can put myself in Clara’s shoes.  Firstly, she was completely unaware of her husband’s affair although everyone around her knew.  Secondly, when she found out, she did everything in her power to get him back, including more sex.

David’s behaviour is not really shocking, I suppose many men do the same.  But to compare her physical attributes to Gail’s is a bit low.

I will not dwell on Gail Bridges.  Suffice it to say that I cannot have sympathy for any woman who puts herself in a position where she could break up a family and destroy children’s lives.

Clara is not a character that invokes sympathy, but I think thousands of women could empathise with her.  The woman scorned.  Not out for revenge, but suddenly confronted with the fact that her husband does not want her anymore.  Lies, sex and rejection.  And a sudden fit of passion in more than one sense of the word that ended in the death of one, and the misery of more.

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Stepmothers

Why do some women feel threatened by their stepchildren?  Especially their stepdaughters?

I know of one woman who has forbidden her husband from seeing his daughter because she doesn’t like her.  It is a lovely girl with good manners but she dared to stand up to the stepmother once.  This child suffers from depression and has tried to commit suicide once already.

If Dad wants to see her, he has to meet with her outside of his own house.  He is not allowed to help her with money, buy a car or any of the things parents usually do for their children once they come of age.  But, he has to pay everything for stepmom’s child, including handing over a car and allowing her to live in his house.

Recently the Gran went to visit and dinner at a restaurant was organized.  Stepmom had to attend but spat on the sentiment by sitting at another table.

I can put up with a lot but these shoes are hard to imagine on my feet.

I believe it is harder for a woman to accept another woman’s child, than it is for a man to accept another man’s child.  I get all of that.  But how could anyone be so mean, callous, cold-hearted, malicious and wicked?  No wonder there is not one good stepmother in fairy tales.  In days where so many women died during childbirth, stepmothers were a dime-a-dozen.  Those authors knew what they were talking about.

Which brings me to the next point.  Why is dad allowing this?  Because he is too scared to stand up to his wife, at the cost of his child.  Because it is easier to do what his wife says than to put up with her continuous moaning and bitching.  Tis true.  And too many men who fall for this one.

Wrong move Dad.  You would only have to put your foot down for so long before mom gets the message.  Or you could take away the credit card.  You are after all the head of the home, why don’t you start flexing your muscles a bit?  Yes it will be hard and yes it might take a while, but it will be worth it.  And you know what?  Once you have made the decision to swallow your fear, the battle is half-won.  Nothing worthwhile comes easy but leaving it as not to disturb the peace is cowardly.  You will regret it when you are old or sick and your children don’t visit (out of habit or because they think they hate you).

And stepmom, you are messing with the life of a child.  You could be ruining a perfectly good human being.  Take a chill-pill and step aside.  Perhaps that is what the STEP stood for all along.

PS:  I know that not all stepmothers are bad.


On Driving

I am, apparently, a bad driver.  This is according to my father, husband and sons.  Oh, and every other man that has ever seen me drive.  Do I agree?  Maybe.  Do I care?  No.

I believe that men are better drivers than women in one specific area.  Spacial awareness.  Most women (and there are exceptions), have no concept of the space around them.  They cannot judge distance.  It annoys me to no end in the school parking lot where one woman will take up enough parking spaces for three cars.

I last parallel parked twenty-odd years ago when I went for my driver’s licence, which I had to re-do two or three times.  And then about two years ago when my son challenged me.  I did it successfully but have to add, it was a huge space.  So I would rather drive around looking for parking, than trying to parallel-park.  It is for men.

I am a bit of an aggressive driver, I will confess.  And I tend to drive fast.  I have no patience on road and cannot stand snails in the fast lane.  Why, why, why are you sitting in the overtaking lane, when you need to be overtaken?

I use my hooter a lot and if you have ever been on South African roads, you will understand the necessity thereof.

I overtake and tailgate, I signal, hoot and gesture.  I worry that when I stop doing it, it will be a sign that I am getting old.

But here I have to add something.  The car you drive makes a big difference to how you drive.  Or rather, a good car increases impatience.

I drive a 320d.  A Beemer.  And no thank you, I don’t want any other car other than perhaps a 330d.  My car is like a faithful Boerperd (South African horse breed).  It is willing and has all the power necessary to do what I ask.  I never have to use force; a gentle nudge is all it takes.

And for people who complain about BMW drivers, this is what I say to you:  “I drive like this, because I CAN!”

Now move over and go sulk at home.