Tag Archives: Relationship

Love parted

They were sixteen when they fell in love.  They graduated together.

They couldn’t keep their hands off one another and did not go out much.  Preferring to stay home to watch movies and cuddle.  Doing everything together, as young love does.

Someone drew a cartoon of everyone who matriculated that year.  They were the only two depicted as one.

Her dream was to study at a prestigious acting school in Los Angeles.  She was selected, and left.  He remained behind to pursue his studies.

All the parents watched.  And sighed.

Now it is their third year apart and he still has three years of studying ahead of him.

Both mothers’ hearts break for their children.  But they do not interfere.  How do you give advice on something you have no understanding of?  Courting over Skype in spite of an eleven hour time difference.  Touching physically for a little while only twice a year.

While so young and restless.

What everyone does understand is that if this relationship makes it, they would have earned it.  The usual issues that crop up and are dealt with over time has to be sorted out quickly.  Like jealousy and trust.  All of us might have time to fight it, or fight about it.  They don’t.  You cannot distrust the other at night when you are alone in your bed, and make it work.  Trust for them is a decision, not a feeling.

Everyone who knows them, roots for them.  Because they deserve it.

They take it one day at a time, with the optimism of their youth.  Not looking too far into the future.  Not sweating the small stuff.  They simply love, and believe that they are loved.  Trusting that this love will be rewarded.

I know that they will both be richer for having had one another, no matter what.  I also understand that to pass this test, they need character, and strength, and endurance, and faith.  Which the passage of time, and the separation itself provides.

These two stones rub against one another, sanding hard.  The pain released builds character which will be its own reward in time to come.

You are so faithful and brave my little children that my heart aches when I look at you, when my thoughts touch upon you.

I pray God’s favour over you.  May He give you all the desires of your hearts till there is room for no more.   And keep you strong and content, and faithful, and pure.

I have so much I want to ask for you, but rest in asking that His will be done.  Because I don’t know what is best for you, nor do I know what the future holds for you.

And it is not for me to decide.

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Relationships have to be Transparent

Most of my relationships are of the honest kind.  Or rather, my most meaningful bonds are built on complete transparency.  With people who have seen my good, bad and ugly, and still want me as a friend.

These friends do not judge.  They might occasionally express concern, or gently point out an ugly, but they love and appreciate all the time.

They are people who do not care to let their hair down in front of me, and who allow me to do the same.  I never have to feel embarrassed about anything I have done, or about a way in which I behaved, because they take me as I come.  And they like me because I am willing to just be me, on display, in front of them, warts and all.

Friendships like these are hard to find, and so worth keeping.  They put together on an understanding of mutual faults, and on the insight that we all carry our own bag full and that it is not for us to question what another has to bear.

I did not know all this until I was older, though I wanted to be that which I saw in my mind’s eye.  I could not ever really feel it because I did not really act it.  Now I do because I understand that what I am is what I am, and that those who do not care for me, can do without me.  And I don’t mind.

I never feel quite comfourtable with non-transparents.  That ‘something’ is always between us.  And I know what it is, even if they don’t.  I have a built-in radar for real and make-believe.  Life is easier when you are unaware of this though.  Relationships seem more rosy and true.  But you are less aware of the importance of guarding your heart, and so you will be injured.

I don’t get hurt that easily anymore though, because someone taught me in the worst possible way.  I won’t cry again over a relationship, unless it is my fault.  Because if you keep your eyes open, you can see most things coming.  It is the University of Life as far as I am concerned, and thank you to everybody involved.  You cured me of my friendship romanticism.

Today, I prefer my friends roasted.  Tested and true.  Genuinely real so that I can make an informed decision about whether I want you in my life or not.   It can never ever though, be based on grudges and there has to be a comprehension that I can be wrong when I think I am right.

Every person that crosses my path in life is important, whether for a season, or a lifetime.  I shall keep an open mind, I shall give you a second, a third, a fourth up to a whatevereth chance.   But if you show that your true colours are grey, I shall not give you my heart.  I’ll keep my innermost thoughts to myself and give you that which floats to the surface.

Because love conquers all.


Be careful what you ask for

We think we have our lives mapped out and that we know what is best for us.  But this is rarely the case.  Reality is, no matter how much we scheme and plan, we do not know what the future holds.

When I was younger, I wished and asked for all sorts of stuff.  I prayed what I thought was needed for others.  But now I know differently.  Now I say:  “Thy will be done”.

Early on, I realized that suffering was good for me.  That although difficult to get through, it formed and shaped character and equipped me to deal with life.  I went on my knees and asked for it.  Suffice it to say that I will not ever do that again.

Right now, I love a certain little girl for my son.  I can see her in his future.  I think they will be good for one another and that they have the makings of a mature relationship.  However, I have refrained from asking for her.  I do not know what is best for my child, I do not know the future, I must therefore accept whichever way it turns out.

So, I am careful. I make sure before I ask, or wish.  And if I don’t have 100% certainty, I don’t.


Of this I am sure …

Love conquers all:   There is nothing that cannot be fixed with love, no hurdle that cannot be overcome and no wrong that cannot be set right.

There is freedom in forgiveness:   Holding on to resentment does nothing to the other person, but it destroys you.  When you let go, you are set free.

There is life after death:   Faith in things not seen.  Without this assurance, life is pointless.

It is never too late to make things right with your children:   No matter how bad we are as parents, our children love us and they will always be ready to forgive us when we say we are sorry.

Hope is one of the most important things a human can have:   Hope is a glimmer of light when you are stumbling through a dark night.  Without it, we might as well lie down and give up.

It is by grace that we are redeemed, not by works:   There is nothing we can do to make ourselves righteous.

Depression can be overcome:   By the right attitude, by retraining the mind and by taking control of our thoughts.

Kindness is repaid:   Always, unexpectedly and on time.

What you believe is what you will get:   What you believe in your heart and say with your mouth, is what you will bring into your life.

Each man is responsible for his own life and everything that comes with it:   We make the decisions that get us where we are, we cannot blame anybody else.

Anything the mind can conceive, we can achieve:   Full stop.


Jy’s my Diksko Bal

We did not start with a mutual liking, it grew over time.  It was not easy, we earned it.  There are so many reasons why we should not be, why we should be distrustful and suspicious.  There are countless people in the way.

Yet, we are.  Why?  Because you make me feel safe.  You are not judgemental or critical.  You have no inhibitions.  You are so naturally you, it makes you beautiful.  You have no pretences or make-believes.  You love unconditionally and give all of yourself.

You are fun to be with, even when you are sad or angry.

You give much and ask for little in return.  You are unselfish, kind and generous.  A ball of shimmering light.

The last few years have been so rough on you, I wish I can help you heal.  You have found yourself in the deepest of waters, but you know you will pull through.

And I will always be here.