Tag Archives: peace

Thank You

For all the good and the bad

the nice and the ugly

the easy and the difficult

for talents and faults

for righteousness and sin


For up and down

for heavy and light

for work and for rest

for the forest and the path

for light and for dark

for day and for night


For building and breaking

for health and for illness

for ease and for pain

for having and lacking

for sanity and madness


For peace and anxiety

for joy and depression

for yesterday and tomorrow

And for today


Because how else would I have known

that your grace is enough for me


How else would I have learnt

that your love overflows


How else would I have come to rest

in the safety of your arms


And how would I have understood

That whether on mountains or in valleys

You will always be there


I was rescued, once

I was only 21 and in a big jam.  So much so, I did not know where to turn, who to ask, what to do.  I was pregnant and my options were limited.

I remember sitting on the pavement at the bus stop.  Worrying, wondering, trying to figure out a way which fitted in with my youthful plans.

Then I saw it.

I was hanging from a cliff.  No ropes or safety equipment.  The gorge was so deep that I could not see the bottom.  Only the long, long fall.

My arms were getting tired and I knew that I could not hold on much longer.  People started appearing.  Everyone had a suggestion:

“Step there, that should give you leverage to haul yourself up!”

“Move your hand slightly to the left, there is a rock you can hold onto.”

I did not consider any of it.  Just hung there, hoping.  My fingernails were tearing.  The weight was too much for my arms.

More people who loved me and were afraid.  They starting shouting at me in frustration.  I looked down and wondered how long the fall would last.  Could I die in mid-air?  Would I hit something on the way down?  I shook my head.

Then he appeared, walking towards me.  There was no panic about him, or fear of any sort.  When he reached me, he simply bent down, grabbed me by the wrists and pulled me onto solid ground.  I was safe.

I knew that I would be okay.

I still am.  That jam took me along a path I never wanted to walk, with people I did not foresee and heartache I would have wanted to avoid.

The thornblanket became my biggest gift.

I wish I had my Grandparents with me for longer

I adored my paternal Grandparents.  They were wise and loving people who gave their best to their six children, and grandchildren to come.

My father was 29 when he died of thrombosis, and it almost killed them.  He was their favourite.  My grandparents lived about an hour’s drive away but not long after, when I was about 7, they were posted from the Transvaal to the Cape.  From then on until they died, I saw them only once a year.

When they moved they wanted my mom and brother and I to go with them.  But my mom decided that it would be best for her to try making it on her own.  The only thing she accepted from him was money for a gravestone, which we visited once.

When I was a child, and reasoned as a child, I deeply loved them.  Initially, we would drive the 14 hours to visit them but when we got older, we went by train.  My grandmother would read Dr. Suess’ books to us.  She acted it out till we held our stomachs laughing.  The only time I ever saw her angry was when we, with my two cousins, made a game of jumping from a bedroom window into her daisy bushes.  Her garden was her pride and joy.

When I was a teenager, and knew everything, I loved them still.  But I did not have much time to spend with them then.  I had parties to go to, friends to hang out with and boys to meet.

They never reproached me, or asked me why.  They quietly accepted it with all the love they had for my dad.  Their love was not the gushy, kissy kind.  It was a love that brought me my favourite breakfast in bed every morning.  It was a love that wrote to me often, exhorting and teaching me.  It was a love
that wore out its knees for me in prayer.

When I became an adult, and thought like an adult, I wanted to spend time with them because I loved them deeply.  I caused them joy when I chose my God, or rather, when He chose me.  I was 23 when he died.

I had my grandmother for another 14 years before she too left me.

Ouma, I want to be like you.  I want the kindness, patience, forbearance, joy, peace, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, laughter and love
that made you so beautiful.  I want to be able to give of myself as unsparingly as you did.  Thank you for your letters and books.  For the phone  conversations, I wish there were more.  Thank you for your faith.

Oupa, thank you for the arm of protection you folded around us when we were a little family adrift, you owed us naught.  Thank you for providing for me so that I had a good start in life.  Thank you for your wisdom in allowing me to make mistakes.

I so look forward to the day that I shall be with you once more.