I get the most bizarre emails and questions every day. I can either get annoyed, or laugh. And to be honest, I choose the latter.
For instance, a lady enquired about a course today and I replied by email, giving the details and asking if she wants me to reserve her place. She replies by telling me: “No, I will go back home the same day”.
What? Really? I have a hotel?
But it has to do with a different frame of reference, a different education and a different culture. What seems ridiculous to me is a perfectly normal assumption to the other person. Like when they tell me they are on their way to Hollywood but need to start somewhere. Or that they are the next big thing on the world’s stage. Hey! I hope so too.
I do have days where I get annoyed because it is one ridiculous question or comment after the other. But luckily most of the time my sense of humour wins the battle and I land up sitting here with tears in my eyes.
Here are two facts:
- The more you do, the more you get done
- The less you do, the less time you have even for little things
When my drinking was at its worst I hardly functioned. Everything seemed like an insurmountable mountain, so I just shelved it. Which meant I had to do the same with every new task after that. It all just snowballed. I copied what I had to do today into tomorrow’s calendar, then into the day after and so forth until even re-writing it became too much. The guilt and worry over all my unfinished business haunted my nights.
Under normal circumstances though, I find that even when I have a lot to do, there is always a bit of time to tackle something else. Because it is true that each day has enough time for the things of that day. And you will be rewarded with that wonderful sense of accomplishment when you have completed all you had set out to do.
Your body produces adrenalin when you are busy which propels you forward. It helps you do and achieve more.
It is so easy to get home tired and be unavailable to those who love you most. A good rule is to allow yourself and/or your spouse thirty minutes from when you step in the door to unwind. To do whatever you want. Afterwards it will be easier to face and listen to your family. We are not a chatty household. But we always know what is happening in one another’s lives. When there is a problem, I set the table and we discuss the issue at dinner.
I am always so pleased when I complete the evening’s cooking because it is the very last thing I have to do. After that I can officially wipe out the “5th of February 2012”. There is a great sense of relief in retiring to my bedroom. It is also the time that partners talk and enjoy one another.
Getting through each day without worry or stress requires faith. It also requires staying in the moment and not running ahead of yourself. When we were tied up on the floor during our armed robbery, I had the pleasure of realizing the concept of staying in the moment. There was no point in thinking about what they could do to us. What use would it have been had I considered that they could gang-rape me? And that they probably had AIDS? Or that they could shoot us? Instead, I stayed focused on what was happening at that instant, so that I could do whatever was best for that moment. The preservation of our lives outweighed all scary future scenarios. I was fully anchored in each exact second. Which created a sense of calm in everybody and ultimately saved our lives.
So, make a list of everything that needs to be done today. And don’t stress about it. Tackle them one at a time without worrying about the next one. And if there is something that you cannot get to, put it under tomorrow.
Because, tomorrow is a brand new day.
I saw it happen with three people in the last two weeks, but only figured it out last night. The moment you achieve a goal you have worked for, you will hit a downer.
Initially you enjoy feelings of elation but immediately afterwards, emotions of self-doubt appear. You will question whether you deserve your success. You will wonder whether you are good enough and ask yourself what will happen when your family and friends realize it? You will understand that your bubble can burst any second.
Someone that achieves success needs reassurance for a moment because they are vulnerable, almost depressed. I understand the reason for it to be this – Everything that goes up, must come down. It is a physical law. In order to reach equilibrium again after intense feelings of ecstasy, the bottom emotions must also be experienced.
Goals are often achieved through years of hard work and perseverance, where the driving force is the belief in one’s self. During that time there is no time to doubt, so it sets in only after the goal is achieved.
Luckily though, is just is as it is, and normality will return.