Annoying Mothers

I work in an industry where I deal with children and so by default, with mothers.  Most moms are normal and stay behind the scenes, but you always have one or two who interfere, make ridiculous demands and are so difficult to deal with that you actually wish their children away.  And sadly, the children are often precocious and unbearable too.

Some mothers never stop telling their girls to sit still, straighten up, speak louder, stop fiddling etc etc.  And rarely do these daughters benefit from the constant reprimanding.  They are in fact highly insecure.

One had no problem demanding to see my teaching syllabus for the year so that she could approve it.  Nor did it enter her mind as ridiculous when she told me to move a class to another day because it does not suit her.  Never a thought about the other parents inconvenienced.

These are the mothers that would arrive at an arranged half-an-hour photo shoot with so many bags full of clothes and shoes that the shoot turns into a two-hour affair.  But they would not think to offer the photographer more money.  Then again, neither do they settle COD as arranged.  I would imagine that this mother has been, and will be hated by every teacher that has the misfortune of having little missy in their class.

I believe that mothers should be hands-on.  They must know what is going on in their children’s lives and if the child is being wronged, they have to intervene.  As for the rest, staying on the background is healthier for the mental health of all concerned.

Mom, stop for a second and evaluate your behaviour when interacting with those who have to help guide your child through life.  Be a little considerate and think before you make demands.  Try to be nice.  Don’t make a nuisance of yourself because in the end, you will be seen as an insufferable bore and your child will be disliked.

In fact, get a copy of ‘How to make friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie.  It was written just for you.


Love parted

They were sixteen when they fell in love.  They graduated together.

They couldn’t keep their hands off one another and did not go out much.  Preferring to stay home to watch movies and cuddle.  Doing everything together, as young love does.

Someone drew a cartoon of everyone who matriculated that year.  They were the only two depicted as one.

Her dream was to study at a prestigious acting school in Los Angeles.  She was selected, and left.  He remained behind to pursue his studies.

All the parents watched.  And sighed.

Now it is their third year apart and he still has three years of studying ahead of him.

Both mothers’ hearts break for their children.  But they do not interfere.  How do you give advice on something you have no understanding of?  Courting over Skype in spite of an eleven hour time difference.  Touching physically for a little while only twice a year.

While so young and restless.

What everyone does understand is that if this relationship makes it, they would have earned it.  The usual issues that crop up and are dealt with over time has to be sorted out quickly.  Like jealousy and trust.  All of us might have time to fight it, or fight about it.  They don’t.  You cannot distrust the other at night when you are alone in your bed, and make it work.  Trust for them is a decision, not a feeling.

Everyone who knows them, roots for them.  Because they deserve it.

They take it one day at a time, with the optimism of their youth.  Not looking too far into the future.  Not sweating the small stuff.  They simply love, and believe that they are loved.  Trusting that this love will be rewarded.

I know that they will both be richer for having had one another, no matter what.  I also understand that to pass this test, they need character, and strength, and endurance, and faith.  Which the passage of time, and the separation itself provides.

These two stones rub against one another, sanding hard.  The pain released builds character which will be its own reward in time to come.

You are so faithful and brave my little children that my heart aches when I look at you, when my thoughts touch upon you.

I pray God’s favour over you.  May He give you all the desires of your hearts till there is room for no more.   And keep you strong and content, and faithful, and pure.

I have so much I want to ask for you, but rest in asking that His will be done.  Because I don’t know what is best for you, nor do I know what the future holds for you.

And it is not for me to decide.


My Death Sentence

Hi, my name is Bob.  I grew up in a country and a time where the death penalty was the acceptable punishment for taking a life.  I had no reason to question this law, not even when I saw others do so.  It did not pertain to my life.  Murderers and rapists deserved to be removed from society permanently.  Why give them a cushy, rent free life in prison when we know that they hardly ever serve their full sentences, and that they are very likely to re-offend upon release?  How many stories have we not heard of killers given time off for good behaviour, only to kill again and again?

Well, my opinion changed one evening in 1984.  I was 25 years old.  At 7:15 I answered a knock at the door and found two policemen outside.

“Good evening, are you Bob ******?”

“Yes, I am.  What is going on officer?”

“We would like for you to come down to the station to answer a couple of questions”.

The officer looked stern and I suddenly felt my heart in the grip of icy fingers.

“Questions about what?”  I tried not to sound frightened, I knew those are all signs cops looked for.

“It is in connection with your neighbour, Rachel ******.  But we cannot discuss it here, come down to the station with us and we should have you home in no time.”

I agreed, hurriedly told my wife that I was needed for questioning and tried to ignore the panic in her eyes.  We got in the car and drove off.  That was the last day I spent in my own home in twenty-eight years.

Rachel had moved in next door to us two years previously.  She was a mousey, quiet woman who lived on her own.  My wife and I introduced ourselves to her upon her arrival but only saw her thereafter in greeting over the fence, or when we pulled out of our driveways together.  I knew that she was a kindergarten teacher and guessed her age to be in her mid-thirties.  She had a cat and liked to potter around in her garden, which was lush.  She mentioned to my wife that she also grew herbs and vegetables successfully.  Neither of us had ever seen the inside of her home.

That was the extent of my knowledge about Rachel *****

And here I am on death-row, convicted of her gruesome murder the night before the cops came knocking on my door.  She had been raped, sodomised and beaten.  Death came by strangulation.

The jury decided my case purely on circumstantial evidence.  It was before the scientific breakthrough of DNA.  And anyway, samples of the DNA left behind at the crime scene had been contaminated and lost to the extent that today there is not enough left even for mitochondrial DNA testing.

I have spent all my appeals.  My execution by lethal injection is scheduled for next month.  I will then once again be free, but not to enjoy my family or anything in this world.

I am no longer for the death penalty.  I still feel that it is a just punishment for those who murder, but now know that too many innocent people are found guilty for too many reasons.

And, if just one innocent person is executed, it should be abolished.   Ask my wife, children and grandchildren, for whom I am saddened above all.


Blog Copyrights

If the item protected is a file or a HTML page, a single registration is created. This registration includes the text of the page, if an HTML work, a hash of the registered content, a date/time stamp of when the work was submitted and a My Copyright Number, or MCN, for easy reference.

If the registration is an RSS feed, then all of entries in the feed are indexed separately and all future updates to the feed are picked up automatically on a daily basis. Each entry is given its own registration, including MCN, hash and date stamp.”  (From:  http://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2007/12/11/myfreecopyright-free-copyright-verification/).

So when I post a blog, I receive an email which looks like this which shows when, where, what time etc.  Clearly I am the author.

I am not suggesting that this is the way to protect your work.  I am just sharing because it gives me a little sense of security to believe that there is some proof out there, that I am the author of my work.  Anyone interested should research the topic for themselves and weigh up the different options before making a decision.

And if I am wrong, or if you find something better, please let me know!


Social Platforms

I spent the morning looking at, and registering on various other social platforms.  I did it firstly to secure my name.  Secondly to create other blogging and communication options.  You can for instance link your wordpress account to tumblr so that when you blog on the one, it automatically goes to the other.  However, this might not be wise because search engines do not like duplicates.  I am still investigating.

 

 

Tumblr is a blogging platform that allows users to post text, images, videos, links, quotes and audio to their tumblelog, a short-form blog. Users can follow other users, or choose to make their tumblelog private. The service emphasizes ease of use.  A tumblelog (or tlog) is a variation of a blog that favors short-form, mixed-media posts over the longer editorial posts frequently associated with blogging. Common post formats found on tumblelogs include links, photos, quotes, dialogues, and video. Unlike blogs, tumblelogs are frequently used to share the author’s creations, discoveries, or experiences while providing little or no commentary. Some platforms geared towards tumblelogging, such as tumblr, facilitate quick and easy posting of single items, such as audio files, single images and embedded videos, by providing streamlined functionality.

 

 

Posterous is a simple blogging platform started in May 2008, funded by Y Combinator. It boasts integrated and automatic posting to other social media tools such as Flickr, Twitter, and Facebook, a built-in Google Analytics package, and custom themes .

 

 

Goodreads is a privately run “social cataloging” website started in December 2006 by Otis Chandler, a software engineer and entrepreneur.[2] The website permits individuals to sign up and register books to create their library catalogs and reading lists. It also allows users to create their own groups of book suggestions and discussions.

LinkedIn is the world’s largest professional network with over 120 million members and growing rapidly. LinkedIn connects you to your trusted contacts and helps you exchange knowledge, ideas, and opportunities with a broader network of professionals.  It is mainly a business network platform.

We all know and have Facebook.  This social networking website launched in February 2004 that is operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc., with more than 500 million active users in July 2010.

Twitter is a website which offers a social networking and microblogging service, enabling its users to send and read other users’ messages called tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters displayed on the user’s profile page.

 

 

Google+ launched as an opposition to Facebook and says this about themselves:  “Google+ makes connecting on the web more like connecting in the real world. Share your thoughts, links and photos with the right circles. Use easy, spontaneous video chat to strike up conversations with as many as nine people at once. Get everyone on the same page with fast, simple group chat. We’re very excited about the new approach to sharing we’ve created through Google+, but this is really just the beginning.”

Pinterest is a virtual pinpboard that lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and organize their favorite recipes.

And then Amazon of course, everyone should have an account with Amazon.

Finally I also wanted to register a domain name.  After looking at various options, I chose register.com.  For only $5, I secured a domain name for a year.

 

So, now I will have to get to work on all of the above.  Will keep you posted!

 

 


Stepmothers

Why do some women feel threatened by their stepchildren?  Especially their stepdaughters?

I know of one woman who has forbidden her husband from seeing his daughter because she doesn’t like her.  It is a lovely girl with good manners but she dared to stand up to the stepmother once.  This child suffers from depression and has tried to commit suicide once already.

If Dad wants to see her, he has to meet with her outside of his own house.  He is not allowed to help her with money, buy a car or any of the things parents usually do for their children once they come of age.  But, he has to pay everything for stepmom’s child, including handing over a car and allowing her to live in his house.

Recently the Gran went to visit and dinner at a restaurant was organized.  Stepmom had to attend but spat on the sentiment by sitting at another table.

I can put up with a lot but these shoes are hard to imagine on my feet.

I believe it is harder for a woman to accept another woman’s child, than it is for a man to accept another man’s child.  I get all of that.  But how could anyone be so mean, callous, cold-hearted, malicious and wicked?  No wonder there is not one good stepmother in fairy tales.  In days where so many women died during childbirth, stepmothers were a dime-a-dozen.  Those authors knew what they were talking about.

Which brings me to the next point.  Why is dad allowing this?  Because he is too scared to stand up to his wife, at the cost of his child.  Because it is easier to do what his wife says than to put up with her continuous moaning and bitching.  Tis true.  And too many men who fall for this one.

Wrong move Dad.  You would only have to put your foot down for so long before mom gets the message.  Or you could take away the credit card.  You are after all the head of the home, why don’t you start flexing your muscles a bit?  Yes it will be hard and yes it might take a while, but it will be worth it.  And you know what?  Once you have made the decision to swallow your fear, the battle is half-won.  Nothing worthwhile comes easy but leaving it as not to disturb the peace is cowardly.  You will regret it when you are old or sick and your children don’t visit (out of habit or because they think they hate you).

And stepmom, you are messing with the life of a child.  You could be ruining a perfectly good human being.  Take a chill-pill and step aside.  Perhaps that is what the STEP stood for all along.

PS:  I know that not all stepmothers are bad.


She waits

Everyday she waits.  Her insides twisted as her fingers tug and pull.

Everyday he returns.  The boat filled with catch.

Each time he hugs her, and bathes her in his joy.

“Mother, you know I and the land, and the air and the sea, are all in God’s hands.  Should a wave cause my boat to capsize, and me to drown, I shall remain in those hands still”.

At last she understands.

And in this belief, shares his joy.