If you have been friends with someone for a long time, let’s say 20 odd years, and that person suddenly grows cold and distant, you would automatically assume that you did something wrong. Right?
Then, you would start working through the drawers and files in your head to find out what it was. Sometimes you will locate it, but it takes time. In the meantime, that person stews and stews and stews. And occasionally, you just don’t find it.
Now this pisses me off. If I have been your buddy for so long, and if you liked me enough to choose my friendship, surely you know that I will not hurt you intentionally. So work with me on this one because I clearly have to spell it out. I accidentally/unintentionally offended you. You are my friend, I like you. I value you. I did not suddenly wake up one morning and decide roll over on you.
So why on God’s green earth could you not pick up a phone, write an email, send a text or a smoke signal to let me know that I did X, and that you are hurt? After 20 years, do you not know that I would set it right?
If you believe that I meant to harm you, then clearly I have been sadly mistaken about you.
So now, here we sit. I actually did locate the (what I imagine to be) offending file, in the drawer marked “Try something New” which by the way, had nothing to do with you. I removed it from that drawer, changed everything to the way you like things done and filed it under “The Usual Way”.
So what now? Once you see what I have done, are you going to become nice again and pretend that nothing happened? Thinking that I am none the wiser? Or will you actually say: “Hey, that thing was bugging me but I did not have the courage to talk to you about it. Thank you for sorting it out”.
The ball’s in your court. I hope you surprise me.