Raising Boys

I always joke that I am the big, bad wolf living with the three little pigs.  My three men and I.  I always wonder why some parents have only girls and some only boys.  In my mind, a woman having grown up without a father would be a better mother to girls.  And that a girl who had a good relationship with her father would do well with boys.

But life walks a different road with us than we think is best.  In hindsight, I am better with boys.  I think I would have had very little patience with girls.  They would have had to just get on with it, sort of like I had to.  Yet I am fiercely protective over my boys.  And because of what happened in our family, I know that they are just as vulnerable to sexual abuse as girls are.

Mothers of girls always say to me:  “At least you have boys, they are less of a worry than girls”.  Why?  What would even make someone think that?  Here’s my understanding of the issue:  If it is hard for you to teach your daughter to keep her legs closed, surely it is even harder for me to teach my boy not to open her legs.

Are girls easier prey?  If a child does not have a strong moral grounding, and a deep-rooted confidence in themselves, if they have not experienced the full safety that a home should provide, they are prey regardless.  It just seems different with girls.

If boys are taught and protected and safeguarded the way that girls are, would they be out there committing sexual crimes?  If they fully understand what sex is about, would they rape, torture, murder and kill women?

Perhaps it’s time that parents start taking the raising of boys as seriously as the raising of girls and leaving them less to their own devices, with the assumption that they will be safe.  Just because they are boys.


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