What is a Thornblanket?

A Thornblanket is a gift given to everyone at birth. Most of us spend the rest of our lives trying to get rid of it.

It is easy to think that you have more than one thornblanket, but that notion is merely a folly of youth.  As we get older, we learn that some things that look like our thornblankets are just faults, hang-ups and so forth.

By the time you reach your fourties or around there, and if you have not shirked growth, you would have realized that you have one issue that follows you always.  It cannot be changed.  It is as it is.

The pseudo-thornblankets can be thrown off if we are willing but it too requires a continuous growth in maturity.  For example, my father died when I was  five and a family member started molesting me straight after.  As a result, I had huge  issues with men/sex/love/security/etc.  But in time, I realized that they were not realities.  The fears born out of those two events could be faced.  When I was a child, I understood things as a child and reasoned as a child.  As I matured, the truth became clear.

My thornblanket on the other hand is addiction and my substance of choice, alcohol.  I have spent years trying to rid myself thereof, to no avail.  I carry it with me wherever I go.  It hurts, it chafes, it scratches and bleeds.  And doubly so when I struggle.  What I am learning is to lay myself down quietly underneath it so that I can awake without any blood.

And now I understand my thornblanket to be a gift.  It teaches me more than anything else ever could.  It forces me out of my comfourt zone into the wilderness where I have only myself to face.  There only do I grow and mature.  Never in the green valleys of rest.

Sounds unfair?  Lol, that’s life!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: